How do you see others? Through dark glasses tinted by hurt? Through rosy-colored glasses which gloss over problems? Or through clear glasses, seeing as God wants you to see? It makes a huge difference how we relate to others depending on how we see them.
Through prayer I’ve realized that I’ve sometimes seen others with dark or rosy-colored glasses. I have been especially prone to this regarding people close to me. Where there’s been problems in the past, related to the individual or not, I’ve found that my hurt and brokenness have given me poor vision at times. I used to think it was how the others were, and, of course, there is truth to that. After all, both individuals enter into relationship with their own brokenness that needs healing by God. However, what I am responsible for is myself and my part in the relationship. I can’t fix another’s problem. I am to pray for healing for us both and do my part to promote a God-centered, healthy relationship.
What do I mean by dark glasses tinted by hurt? Where there’s been rejection, perceived rejection, mistreatment, abuse, or neglect, we can wear dark glasses. The relationship is filtered through the darkness. Often there is anger, explosive or silent. Unexpressed feelings or withdrawal because of fear. Mistrust. Misunderstanding heaped upon misunderstanding. Thinking the worst when the facts prove otherwise. Seeing the other with a skewed perspective, not a right perspective. This all describes seeing the one who hurt you as well as others who have not hurt you that way but who resemble one who has. Do you see anyone with dark glasses?
What about rosy-colored glasses? When these glasses are worn, things look better than they are. Rosy, bright, one could call this view optimistic although it’s not. Why would anyone want to see things this way? Sometimes we want it to be that way. We don’t want to deal with the problems at hand in the relationship. It seems easier to sweep the mess under the rug, so to speak, and ignore or deny it. We can be afraid of the truth, afraid to confront when it’s necessary, afraid the relationship couldn’t hold up to working through problems. Wearing rosy-colored glasses is a way of coping. Do you see anyone with rosy-colored glasses?
The Lord wants us all to have clear vision, and He gives it to us as we ask. The Spirit of Truth witnesses truth to us. Truth brings clarity and right understanding in the relationship. God’s Word is Truth and God heals. “…(love) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13:6-8a NKJV)
We can hold onto hurt and pain or we can give it all to God asking Him to heal us. We can choose to love and forgive unconditionally. Even with what we thought were impossibly difficult and painful relationships, we can see with clear vision, we can be healed, and we can see what God will do in restoring and rebuilding our relationships.
“The LORD will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” (Isaiah 58:11 NKJV)
May His living water spring up in you anew today, bringing clear vision and healing!